Hammered
by LadyBauer
Summary: What if Pepper and Natasha got a little tipsy? Awesomeness, that's what - don't worry there's a little Clintasha in there too. So WARNING there's naughty stuff in here...Reviews mean love! (Oneshot)


Hello all, this is a little idea I had a while ago. As you already know I own nothing so don't sue me, ok?

* * *

"Guys suck!" Natasha sighed in exasperation at Pepper Potts as she flopped down on the comfy sofa of the Avengers' living area.

She was not happy at all. Three weeks she'd spent in that sweaty hell hole and all she wanted to do was come home, drag Clint into the shower and then to bed. Yes, she - Natasha Romanof, the Black Widow - had missed her boyfriend. However, when she arrived back home he wasn't there so she had a lonely shower and when she came out she found a note on her bed in his serial killer's scrawl:

_Babe, _

_I'm so glad you're home and sorry I missed you. I said I'd go to an arcade with the guys so that Thor could have some fun before he goes back home again for a while. Relax and I'll see you later._

_Clint xxx_

Oh really, she thought to herself as she read it before angrily shredding it into the tiniest pieces she could. She got dried and dressed in a huff and went to get some food. Pepper looked up at her from over the rim of her glasses and quirked an eyebrow at her appearance.

"What's up?" Pepper asked, setting her tablet down and taking off her glasses. She and Natasha had become sort of friends now that they were living in such close proximity together and she was genuinely concerned to see her like this.

"Oh nothing, I just thought that my boyfriend would like to spend some time with me after three weeks apart but I guess going to play games with his buddies is way more exciting!" She said gesturing wildly with her hands before looking up at Pepper.

"Come on Natasha, he didn't know when you'd be home. But if it helps, he has been moping around this place since you've been gone. Spending all his time at the gym or the range." Pepper tried to make peace but she could tell it was a lost cause by the look on Natasha's face.

"I suspect you have been blown off by Tony in the same way this evening?" Natasha observed. Pepper nodded with a sigh and smiled at her empathetically. She could only imagine what kind of trouble Tony was getting into without her careful supervision.

Natasha got up and headed towards the kitchen, "I think we both need to start drinking Pepper." As she rummaged through the cupboards producing very small looking glasses and very strong looking alcohol Pepper started to worry.

She'd seen all of the big strong men in the initiative fall at Natasha's feet when they tried to match her drink for drink and she really didn't want to follow suit. She got up and walked over to the breakfast bar,

"Well I'll have a glass of wine I guess…" She said carefully only to be cut off by Natasha, "Nooooo you will have shots of vodka with me."

Uh-oh I'm in trouble now….Pepper thought to herself. She sat down at the bar resigned to her fate as Natasha poured out the first shots. Pepper lifted the glass and smelt the strongest vodka she'd ever encountered. She probably could have gotten drunk off the fumes of the glass. As Natasha knocked hers back with minimal effort and discomfort Pepper suddenly thought, what the hell, knocking hers back with equal eagerness (and only coughing a little bit…).

Nearly two entire bottles of the strongest vodka known to man later (well at least that is what Pepper would forever call this particular brand for the rest of her life) Natasha and Pepper were sitting on the floor of the kitchen leaning against the cupboard doors.

Pepper had discarded her jacket and kicked off her heels beside her. Natasha was bare foot in jeans and one of Clint's old t-shirts that she liked to slob out in. Mostly she liked it because well, it was Clint's and it smelled like him.

As Natasha poured two more shots she watched with amusement as Pepper knocked hers back without making a face or coughing. A few hours of this and her throat was probably numb but Natasha was impressed - people who got in a drinking session with her never usually lasted this long. Although they were both starting to feel the effects.

"So Natasha, how come you are so good at drinking?" Pepper slurred as she waved her empty glass in the air for no apparent reason.

Natasha giggled, "I'm Russian, hellooooo. It practically flows through our veins!" She snorted knocking back another one as if to prove her point.

Pepper laughed as little edges of Natasha's Russian accent crept into that sentence. She then appeared to have a brainwave.

"You know what we should do? We should play truth or dare! You go first." Pepper said shoving her glass towards Natasha silently asking her to fill it. Natasha glared at her a little,

"Why should we do that?" She asked Pepper.

"Because it's what people do when they're drunk!" Pepper said simply. Natasha shrugged, letting the older woman guide her through the social conventions that she knew nothing about. She'd heard of truth or dare from Clint and quickly thought of a suitable question.

"Okay, I'm going to ask you a question and I want a straight answer please!" Natasha said pouring out the last of the vodka into their glasses.

"Shoot." Pepper said plainly as she sank her shot.

"If you had to sleep with any one of the guys other than Stark, which one would it be?" Natasha said swallowing her shot and slamming her glass down on the floor.

Pepper's eyes widened as she tried to sit up a little straighter. "Well," as she thought for a second, " I guess I'd have to say Thor."

"Interesting," Natasha said, "Any particular reason?"

"His hammer…you know, the other one." Pepper said with a wink, erupting in fits of giggles as Natasha followed suit. As Natasha calmed her breathing again she crawled on her hands and knees over to the cupboard beside Pepper and emerged triumphantly holding up another bottle of vodka like it was a trophy she'd just won.

Pepper whooped and cheered like she'd just watched her win it. Natasha slumped back into her previous sitting position and with some concentration she opened the bottle tossing the cap across the room and pouring them both more shots.

"Now Pepper how could you possibly know what's going on under all that godly get up he wears?" Natasha said as Pepper became increasingly more flushed. "Oh, tell me all about it Potts!"

Pepper put her hands over her face and sighed awkwardly. "Well a few months ago I was looking for Tony so I could yell at him and thought he was hiding from me so naturally I thought he'd hide in the gym and when I opened the door to the shower block there was Thor. Naked as the day he was born and smiling at me! - Well hello Lady Potts - in his big booming voice. Oh Natasha I nearly died."

Natasha burst out laughing and through her embarrassment Pepper realised that she was probably one of the few people who ever got to hear Natasha's true laugh.

"Oh my God Pepper, so you saw….everything?" Natasha asked and got her answer as Pepper nodded her head vigorously.

"And let me tell you something Natasha, he is in perfect proportion." She said punctuating the last three words to emphasise her point.

"Wow, very nice…" Natasha smiled warmly at her drinking buddy. She was a little ashamed that she'd never taken the time to know her better when they'd been living under the same roof for over a year now.

Filling their glasses again Natasha admitted, "Well I guess I'd choose the Captain….I'd pop his cherry, give him a few pointers and send him out into the world knowing I'd done womankind a good deed." Natasha said smiling wryly at Pepper who was giggling again.

"Aww, poor Steve…" Pepper said caringly.

"Hey Pepper, did you say Thor because you didn't want to say Barton in case I punched you?" Natasha asked out of the blue. Pepper drank her shot and looked up at the redhead.

"Would you have?" Pepper asked.

"Hell no I would have high fived you for your excellent choice!" Natasha said honestly.

Pepper laughed and poured yet more shots (she was bound to pass out soon she thought so she might as well go for it).

"Okay whilst we're on the subject of Clint and, um, hammers…what's he like?" Pepper blurted out looking at Natasha's shocked face. "Oh come on Natasha, you guys have probably done it in every corner of this place. I want details baby." She said knocking back her shot and waving her empty glass at Natasha so she'd fill it up again.

"Miss Potts! I couldn't possibly divulge such information….he's amazing! I mean from his arms to his chest to his legs to his….hammer - oh man why'd you think I was so pissed when I didn't see him this afternoon?"

Pepper spat her shot all over the floor at the last mention of Barton's hammer. Wiping her mouth with a napkin she balled it up and threw it at Natasha playfully.

"Awesome, and uh, his "hammer". Any comments?" Pepper asked making air quotes with her fingers and feeling braver by the second. She'd always wondered about this if she was honest. Clint was quiet and shy, respectful and polite but he had a naughty glint in his eyes at times and she'd heard (just like everyone) else the way he makes Natasha moan.

Natasha thought for a second as she downed another shot. She wasn't used to indulging in girl talk although she was getting a kick out of it. She was also unsure as to how much she should reveal but then she also knew that Pepper would never tell - and JARVIS could keep a secret or two as well. Where was the harm - she was actually kind of proud of Clint's prowess in the bedroom…

"Well, my comments would be that he is very impressive in that area. I'm saying average-ish length but he's, well, thick!" Both women broke into fits of laughter at that.

As they laughed Natasha held up the bottle in mock horror as she realised they were almost at the label already, uh oh….

As they neared the bottom of the bottle Pepper seemed like she was on her way out so Natasha decided to throw her question back at her.

"What about Stark, Pepper?" Pepper straightened up as she slowly realised what Natasha was asking her. "I mean, there has to a be a reason, other than you looove him that you stick around that jack ass!"

Pepper would have protested a little more at the jack ass remark if she'd been sober but…well. It was pretty much true she'd have to admit. So she gave her friend a crooked smile as she downed what had to be her last shot (she thought to herself).

"Oh well, I don't know that you'd say he's overly impressive in the hammer area." Natasha snorted at that one - she hadn't imagined he was. Actually she hadn't imagined any of this where Tony was concerned!

"But you know, he makes up for it in other ways. He's very good with his hands and his tongue…oh my God, his tongue is just, wow." Pepper said wistfully throwing her head back with a sigh.

Natasha suddenly felt a little queasy - it was fun to talk about all the guys but when it came to Stark it just felt wrong to her. She shuddered and her thoughts turned to Clint as Pepper became more and more out of it.

Tony, Thor and Clint came out of the elevator on the common floor to find the ladies - Bruce and the Captain had cried off and went to bed. Clint couldn't help but laugh at Thor's child-like enthusiasm at the games and the massive array of prizes he had won as a result. He hoped Natasha was still up because he had planned to give her a real welcome home. His expression changed when he heard her throaty loud laugh coming from the kitchen and he stopped in his tracks. She's drunk, very drunk he thought to himself…uh oh…

"Aaahh the men folk are back from a hard night at the arcade!" Natasha announced theatrically as she and Pepper tossed back yet another shot. The guys stood in the doorway of the kitchen and surveyed the scene before them. Thor leaned in to Tony and Clint and said plainly,

"Your women are intoxicated my friends." Tony turned slowly to look at Thor with wide eyes and said sarcastically, "No shit T-dog!"

At that, Pepper finally succumbed and slid over in a heap, her shot glass rolling across the floor to be stopped by a highly amused Clint's boot. Natasha gave up her glass and began swigging vodka directly from the bottle,

"Oh! Man Down! Man Down!" She said pointing at Pepper laughing.

Tony sighed and went over to Pepper, "Jeez Romanof she's out cold how much has she had to drink?"

"Oh, an awful lot, but she took it like a man!" Natasha slurred and then sat up to jab her finger at him. "You could learn from her fine example!"

Ignoring her, Tony looked gauged how he could get her to bed when he came to the simplest conclusion. Looking up at Thor he said, "hey buddy could you give me a hand with her please?"

Thor dropped all of his prizes on the counter top and scooped Pepper up with ease turning and heading off for the 'Stark Master Suite' as Tony liked to refer to it. Tony called an absent minded good night over his shoulder and then there was just Natasha and Clint left in the kitchen.

Clint leant against the bar and looked down at his girlfriend, half slumped on the floor swigging vodka from the bottle. Her hair was tousled and her cheeks were red matching the painted toenails of her bare feet. God Damn she was so sexy he thought to himself. He bent down to help her up but she shrugged him off.

"Oh so now your buddies are gone you have time for me?" She said with venom as she drained the bottle and tossed it aside.

He knew better than to argue with her when she was this drunk so he merely pulled her to her feet and slung her over his shoulder and began to head to his bedroom. She fought him all the way trying to get down but she couldn't really see very well and in the end she just gave up and hung upside down helplessly.

"Do you think I got this drunk just so I could look at your upside down ass Barton?" She said as he gave her ass a hard slap in retaliation.

"Hey!" She protested as he entered his room setting her down to sit on his bed. "Stay." He said to her as he went into the bathroom.

"You know, I wanted to see you when I got back and you weren't here." She shouted into the bathroom after him.

"I know, I'm so sorry baby, I didn't know when you'd be back." He said apologetically as he emerged from the bathroom carrying a glass of water in one hand and two aspirin in the other. She took them from him without making eye contact and swallowed them both in one go. Draining the glass of water she was barely able to hand it to him before the room went black as she fell back on the bed.

Clint stood holding the empty glass looking at the love of his life passed out drunk on his bed with a ridiculously large smile on his face. She was back, safe and sound and even though she was a little pissed with him he didn't care. She'd get over it and he'd make it up to her.

He sighed and went about taking her clothes off and tried not to look at or touch her breasts as he replaced the t-shirt she was wearing with one that she usually slept in instead. He moved her so she was lying on her side and he threw his own clothes in a heap on the floor as he got in beside her pulling her back to his chest and holding her close as he fell asleep.

The morning light brightened up Clint's bedroom as Natasha came to the next morning. She opened her eyes slowly and was greeted by Clint on his side looking at her. He smiled when she made eye contact with him and grinned when she winced in pain and rubbed her eyes roughly with the back of her hand.

"Shut up Clint," she frowned but then thought better of it and said, "Thank you." Not really looking at him.

"What for?" He asked as he slid his arm beneath her shoulders and brought her to his chest, chuckling softly at her dishevelled appearance. Her wavy hair was covering his arm that was around her back and shoulders, her legs were gently tangled with his own and he was glad she made no move to change that. She had forgiven him. He studied the shape of her eyes, nose and mouth. As he studied her she felt utterly exposed but completely safe. He finally looked back into her eyes and held her still closer.

"For not leaving me on the kitchen floor last night even though I was being a bitch to you. And thank you so much for the glass of water and aspirin - that may be the reason I'm still alive right now." she said simply, licking her lips subconsciously . God she'd missed him so much and waking up in his arms (even if she was a little hung over) was as good as it got for her these days.

Clint smiled warmly at her and lent down to kiss her but stopped when she shook her head. Covering her mouth with her hand she said, "You can't imagine the day after vodka breath I have going on in here, trust me you don't want to kiss me right now."

He simply tightened his grip around her and with his other hand removed hers from her mouth, kissing her palm and placing in on his neck.

"I've waited three weeks and one day to kiss you baby, I don't give a damn what kind of breath you have right now - I'm kissing you." He said quickly placing his lips on hers with enthusiasm and kissing her thoroughly. Just like that she was putty in his hands.

There was no time for her to feel hard done by for him not being there the day before, not when she'd missed him so much that it had hurt. So she pressed up against him and kissed back just as urgently. Pulling back from the kiss but not loosening his hold on her he said,

"God, I've missed kissing you." He shook his head and leaned away from her slightly, smiling when she whimpered at the loss of contact with him. "Don't worry baby, I'm about to make up for lost time. I'm going to take care of you Tasha." Still with an arm around her back his other arm was now free to do his bidding.

His fingers started at her collarbone using a feather like touch to gently glide over her pale skin, she closed her eyes and sighed. They skimmed over her shoulder and down her arm to her hand which gripped his shoulder. He gently took it in his and kissed her knuckles, laying her hand down by her side where he wanted it to remain during his exploration. He went back up to her collarbone and repeated his touch as she made soft noises in the back of her throat. She never stirred but as he moved lower he could feel her heart beating rapidly in anticipation of his next move.

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him as she caught the hem of her t-shirt and drew it up, over her head tossing it onto the floor.

As he came to look upon her again her cheeks had become flushed and in the amber morning light his chest tightened at the sight - still slightly disbelieving she was his. Although obviously he would never say that out loud…

He lowered his hand down and took her pert breast in his mouth that had already been hardened by his previous touches and kisses and sucked with increasing force as she moaned softly and tightened her legs around his.

This caught him off guard for a second but he was determined to continue with his slow torture and moved onto her breast that was closest to him whilst his free hand came up to knead the other gently but firmly.

"Oh Clint" Again she sighed contentedly as she lay there being worshipped and adored by this man. The one that knew her best of all. She kept her eyes on him as he alternated from one breast to the other with his mouth and hand although she was becoming aware of the need rising within her for a little more than that. He left her breasts and wrapped both of his arms around her to move on top of her, supporting his weight with his elbows and knees.

He gasped when she ground her pelvis into him and brushed his hardening erection through his boxers. He knew he wouldn't be able to rest in this position or he'd have to take her right now. Whilst that was definitely going to happen he wanted her to show her how much he'd missed her first.

He stared down at this beautiful, sexy creature - his Natasha. He decided that he was going to give her the best orgasm she'd ever had (for now).

He kissed her again and she felt like she was falling, his tongue invaded her mouth and caressed her own vigorously as he held the back of her neck to keep her in place. His mouth made it's way down her neck and once again over both breasts as her moans became louder. His arms pushed hers down by her sides as he moved down her body some more until his head was at her knees.

She gasped in anticipation as he parted them gently and oh, did she want him to so badly. She raised her head slightly to watch him and bit her lip. That did it for him as he began to kiss and touch her inner thighs and made achingly slow progress to his intended destination.

Just as he got to her centre he reached up and kissed over her stomach momentarily tonguing her belly button which made her squeak. He smiled against her skin, that was a very un-Natasha like noise and he loved it.

He decided to put her out of her misery finally and so he gently started to lap and kiss her moist centre, changing pressure and listening to her moans. This was one of the things she always appreciated about Clint, he was methodical and he paid attention. She became more and more wet the faster his pace became and then he hooked a finger inside her and she gasped his first name breathlessly in a voice she never knew she had.

"Fuuuck," He thought he would come on the spot as he'd never in all his life heard somebody say his name so sexily before. He continued to work his tongue and finger until he felt her getting closer. He inserted another finger and whispered to her,

"Let go Tasha, I promise you this is going to be the first of many. Come for me baby." He went back to her centre a final time and covered her clit with his mouth as she gripped the sheets tightly in her hands and came harder than she ever thought was possible.

He looked up her as she moaned and writhed in the ecstasy he'd just given her and there was that tightening in his chest again. He slackened off as she came down from her high and eventually crawled back up her body as she trembled slightly from her release. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck, afraid that he'd see her tears.

He felt them on his skin but didn't say anything. She suddenly flipped them over and he chuckled at her enthusiasm.

His chuckles faded as she shoved his boxers down his legs far enough so that she could wrap her hands around his hard cock. Briefly remembering her discussion with Pepper about it the previous night. As he gasped at the contact he noticed her mind wander and said, "what is it Tasha?"

She smiled wryly at him and pumped him a couple of times before whispering, "girl talk". Before he had a chance to say anything else she guided his cock towards her entrance and slowly sank down onto it.

"Oh fuck!" He cried out as her slick heat enveloped him for the first time in weeks. He had temporarily forgotten what it was like to fill her, the look on her face when he was buried inside her.

She squeezed her eyes shut and laughed. It was an usual reaction but just as quickly he sat up beneath her changing the angle of his hips and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders tightly.

As they moved together Clint worried her nipple between his teeth and make her moan wantonly as she writhed against him.

"I make you laugh huh?" He said half jokingly, half worryingly as she pulled back slightly to look at him.

"No." She gulped back her pride taking his face in her hands and said, "You make me happy baby." Her smiled widening along with his eyes.

He suddenly bit down on her breast definitely leaving a mark and making her cry out somewhere between pain and pleasure. His renewed vigour at her revelation made him wrap his arm tightly around her lower back and thrust up into her in earnest.

The intensity in his movements coupled with how tightly they were pressed against each other made her start to keen and when he placed his fingers between them to work on her clit it was all over for her. She yelled out his name as she tightened around him making his own orgasm explode inside of her as he growled against her neck.

They collapsed back on the bed breathing hard and still holding on tightly to one another as he gently slid out of her. Natasha, always the first to recover, lifted her head from his chest to look at him. Talking with Pepper last night and the way she had just opened up to Clint made her realise that she didn't tell him how she felt enough.

She wasn't as open with him as he was with her and he deserved better. So here, in their post coital bliss, was where she told him for the first time how she felt.

"I want to tell you something and I don't want you to talk until I'm done ok?" He nodded at her once and stared into her eyes intently.

She felt her hang over come back with a vengeance and thought maybe now wasn't the best time to tell him but hell, she could die on her next mission and so could he. Right now was the best she was going to get.

"I love you." She smiled and looked away shyly as he grinned at her in slight disbelief even now. "You know Clint, it's the biggest and most important victory I have ever had because it means that they haven't won. They don't own me, they didn't turn me into some kind of a machine because I can care, I feel, I love - and I love you."

She puffed out a breath and laid her head back on his chest placing a kiss over his heart, exhausted by her outpouring of emotion. She heard his heart hammering against her head and smiled. She knew he would be trying to think of the appropriate response as he stroked her back and hair.

He always treated her kind of like a spooked horse when she had made an effort to be open with him. As in maybe too much progress at once would scare her away from him. In the end he rolled them so that they were back in the position they started it what seemed like ages ago. As he looked down on her he kissed her cheeks one by one before capturing her mouth in a searing kiss that made her wanted to roll around on top of him all over again. Leaving her panting he pulled away from her lips long enough to say, "back at you baby" and laugh heartily before pressing her body into the mattress with his own.

Later as they emerged from Clint's room they came across a very ill-looking Pepper Potts. She was sitting on a stool at the breakfast bar in the kitchen with her head resting on her crossed arms. Clint proceeded into the kitchen as Natasha came to sit beside her gingerly.

"Good morning Sunshine." Said Natasha in a low voice.

"Stop screaming at me," Pepper said lifting her head just enough for Natasha to survey the damage etched on her face. It was pale and pasty and her hair had been scraped into a messy ponytail. "Figures you would be fine after drinking the same amount as I did and yet here I am at death's door." She said bitterly as Clint stifled a laugh.

He opened the door to the refrigerator and looked at the contents, shooting Natasha a knowing look. Natasha nodded back at him as he began to gather some things together.

"Pepper, Clint's going to make you the most disgusting hang over cure known to man. But trust me, it will cure you….if you can keep it down."

Pepper glared at Natasha but eventually just shrugged. Clint tried to put all ingredients into the blender silently but as he was about to mix he turned to the women and said,

"Pep, you better cover your ears for a sec." Pepper did as she was told and pressed her hands tightly to her ears as he blended his concoction as quickly as he could. She winced in pain and groaned when he had finished. He poured the dark liquid into a tall glass and set it in front of Pepper.

"Down the hatch Miss Potts, all of it! Hold your nose if it helps." Clint said leaning against the counter on his elbow like a bartender.

The smell of the beverage wafted over to Natasha and she shook her head lightly. "Go for it Pepper, trust me. Sink's over there, just in case." She said trying to encourage her friend.

Pepper sat up straight looking between the two assassins and grimaced at the glass for a second before lifting it to her lips.

"Oh Shit" She exclaimed before pinching her nostrils with her thumb and forefinger and gulping the liquid down until the empty glass was set shakily back on the counter. Clint looked impressed as he said, "Damn, that was awesome."

Pepper puffed out a breath as she tried to stop the waves of nausea from overcoming her. Clint and Natasha watched her warily waiting for her to bolt but she took some deep breaths and announced.

"You know, I think I might be ok."

"Don't sound so surprised! That drink has saved lives - maybe I should take out a patent on it. Hey Tony how's that work?" Clint said in the direction of the mogul in the corner playing Angry Birds on his I-pad.

"Oh it's a really boring process Legolas but I'd be glad to look into it for you…for a small fee of course."

"Oh, ok. How about just do it and I promise I won't let Natasha tie you up and cut on you instead." Clint deadpanned.

"Or we could do that, sure, sure." Tony said quickly as Natasha smiled at Clint.

Thor and Steve came into the room shortly afterwards and those who were able sat down to breakfast made by Clint. Pepper was still unsure about food but sat down with them anyway for the company with her large cup of coffee.

"So ladies," Thor said, using what Natasha assumed he counted as his indoor voice. Still pretty loud but not nearly as loud as his normal tones.

"How are you feeling after your night on the ale?" He said forking a huge mouthful of pancakes into his mouth.

Before either of them could answer Bruce came in to join them all for breakfast. Sitting down he said in Thor's general direction,

"Hey buddy could you come down to the lab when you've finished and move your hammer - it's humming is kind of distracting me."

Natasha spat out her orange juice as Pepper tried not to look at her. After struggling for a minute they eventually just let it rip and got up to leave the room together with their laughter echoing through the hallway. Leaving the guys looking at each other with bewilderment.

Tony just shrugged and shovelled some more bacon into his mouth with a grunt…"women!"

* * *

Just a little lemon, hope you liked it! :D


End file.
